The Kraken’s a song that captures the essence who we are and why we do this. Written and arranged by Alan Coyne in 2014, it’s a favorite at. Hear it the following ways:

• In performance in Berkeley earlier this year (3/1/15) as mermaids, pirates, and other sea creatures
• In performance in 2013 at the Subterranean Arthouse
• And as a World of Warcraft machinima music video, courtesy of Lawless, some time in 2011!

Lyrics below:

I’ll sing ye a song-o, a song of the sea And if ye be wise, ye’ll listen t’me Tho’ long he’s a-slumbered, ’tis soon he’ll be free And the Kraken’ll get ye, me hearty!

With the strength of a whale and the wiles of a fox, The Kraken’s a-comin’ t’clean all our clocks T’avenge fishsticks, caviar, sushi, and lox And the Kraken’ll get ye, me darlin’!

(Yo, ho, ho, ho)

O, the kraken’ll get ye, Jim lad He don’t care if ye’re good or ye’re bad He’ll shiver yer timbers and rip off yer members He’ll clinch ye and pinch ye and make ye feel sad

With the skull of a squid and the claws of a crab His great eye just stares while his tentacles grab Ye can pull off yer peg-leg and give him a stab But the Kraken’ll get ye, me hearty!

He’ll hack off yer hook and peel back yer eyepatch His beak it’ll bite ye, so batten yer hatch Aye, but it’s the third tentacle ye’ll want t’watch Or the Kraken’ll get ye, me darlin’!

(Yo, ho, ho, ho)

O, the Kraken’ll get ye, me lass He don’t care if ye’re common or class He’ll drunk up your rum And keel-haul your mum He’ll take ye and shake ye and wale on your ass

Now accordin’ t’legend, that slimy brute Made Sinbad the Sailor soil his sailor suit He’s bolder than Bluebeard, tho’ not so hirsute And the Kraken’ll get ye, me hearty

He’s the fiercest beastie in Davy Jones’ locker He makes Godzilla look like Betty Crocker Yar, they say that Kraken’s one bad mother- Shut yo’ mouth! Yar, I just be talkin’ ’bout the Kraken Then we can dig… For treasure, that is! YAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR

O the Kraken’ll get ye, ye scum He don’t care if ye’re crafty or dumb Ye poor scurvy dog ‘Tis yer stern he’ll flog He’ll flail and impale ye until ye go numb

Sooooooooooo: Avast now, ye cap’ns, while out on the wave Yer vessels all hold the booty he craves He’ll suck all yer seamen to watery graves Yes, the kraken’ll get ye me hearty

(Row, row, row your boat…)

Yes, the Kraken’ll get ye someday He don’t care if ye’re grumpy or gay Ye can go eat yer spinach But trust me yer finished So hoist up yer topsail and anchors aweigh The Kraken’ll get ye me hearty!

Weigh hey!